How To Raise a Feminist Son

We are desperately trying to right the wrongs of the past but for those of us with young sons, there’s an opportunity and indeed a responsibility to ensure we're raising a generation that knows better. These ideas are from a great New York Times article along similar lines.

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Teach him that he has a full range of emotions not just angry but - I’m scared, my feelings are hurt or, I need help.

Put good men in the space of your son. Give him strong female role models, too

Allow him to follow his interests, traditional or not

Teach him to cook, clean and look after himself

Teach him to take care of others

Encourage friendships with girls

Teach respect and consent

Expect more. ‘Boys will be boys’ is not an excuse for bad behavior. 

Never use ‘like a girl’ as an insult

Read a lot, including about girls and women

Celebrate boyhood

Stacey Abrams is poised to make history

It was such an honor to co-host this event for the amazing Stacey Abrams. As the leading candidate for Governor of Georgia, she is set to make history as America’s first ever black female governor. Meeting her reminded me of Oprah Winfrey's recent Golden Globes speech where she referenced all the little black girls watching who'd be uplifted by her success. Well Stacey Abrams will do the same for a whole new generation of girls who will believe that one day, they too could be in positions of power. Learn more about Stacey and donate to her campaign here.

Protect Roe v Wade

1973. Today marks the 45th anniversary of Roe v Wade, the landmark Supreme Court decision protecting a woman’s right to choose.  This right continues to be threatened by the current administration and we must defend the ability of all women to have access to quality, affordable reproductive health services. 

At the Women's March this weekend, I wore this t-shirt, a collaboration between Kulestripes and Prinkshop to signal my reliance as a mother, on the ability to control when and how I have children.  All proceeds to the National Institute for Reproductive Health.

Intersectional Feminism And The Women's March

At last night’s panel for the launch of the new Women's March book, Together We Rise: Behind the Scenes at the Protest Heard Around the World, former Teen Vogue Editor in Chief Elaine Welteroth said something that really resonated. That when Philando Castile was killed she felt isolated in her grief when she went to work the next day. I would like to think that the Women’s March changed that. That people and the conversation have evolved.

The march was a pivotal moment for so many. For some it was their first introduction to activism, for others it was a wake up call. For those already doing the work, it brought welcome new awareness and attention to their movements. But what I’m grateful for is that it drove home the true value and need for intersectional feminism. As co-chair Linda Sarsour put it during the panel discussion: “It wasn’t about this narrow white liberal feminist lens of what women’s issues are. We dictated what women’s issues are - they include immigration, gun violence against people of color, the environment, poverty. To quote Audre Lorde, ‘There is no such thing as a single issue struggle because we don’t live single issue lives.”

The book is filled with photographs and essays that demonstrate the breadth and impact of the march and the influence it had on all of our lives. It is dedicated to the "women, documented and undocumented: the daughters, the mothers, the caregivers, the workers, the trans warriors, the witches, the artists, the refugees, the leaders.  Buy a copy!

Elaine Welteroth, Cassady Finlay, Sarah Sophie Flicker, Paola Mendoza, Linda Sarsour, Carmen Perez

Cassady Finlay,  Linda Sarsour, Elaine Welteroth, Cleo Wade, Sarah Sophie Flicker, Paola Mendoza, Cindy Leive

Empowerment. Be Anything Or Be Realistic?

Here's a question I grapple with every day in relation to raising my son, and, the messaging I send out to the young women on my platforms. Do I tell them they can do and be anything or do I warn them about the harsh realities of the world?  I was raced with the former 'be anything' messaging and I don't believe I would have been able to navigate the world as I have, feeling it was against me. I have friends who were raised that way and it made them hesitant, nervous, defensive. And sometimes you need a bit of naïveté to push past that. You'll deal with the obstacles as and when they arrive, hopefully surrounded by the right mentors and support structure.

Happy New Year!

I added my name to the TIMESUP Letter of Solidarity

300 leading women across the entertainment industry just launched a wide reaching campaign to combat sexual harassment and support disenfranchised women on the receiving end of unwanted advances. Entitled TIMESUP, the initiative does three key things:

• Provides a $13 million legal defense fund to help women in blue-collar jobs and farm work
• Drafts of legislation to punish companies that tolerate sexual harassment and to discourage nondisclosure agreements in such cases.
• Pushes to reach gender parity in Hollywood studios and talent agencies; and a call for women walking the red carpet at the Golden Globes to wear black as a sign of protest and solidarity.

This is an important step in the right direction, particularly in its support of women without the power or platform to stand up to abuse. The campaign was launched via a full page open letter in the New York Times. I just added my name to the Letter of Solidarity and donated to the TIME’S UP Legal Defense Fund.  It feels like a powerful way to start the year.

Wild Woman Sisterhood

We are the descendants

of the wild women you forgot

We are the stories you thought

would never be taught.

They should have checked the ashes

of the women they burned alive.

Because it takes a single wild ember

to bring a whole wildfire to life.

– NIkita Gill. WILD WOMAN SISTERHOOD

The Woman Behind Star Wars' Increased Diversity

I finally saw The Last Jedi last night and it was well worth the wait. So thrilling and fun with thoughtful, compelling storylines. And, best of all, so rich in diversity.  And that's thanks in no small part to Kiri Hart, head of the Lucasfilm story group. Formed by Kathleen Kennedy in 2012, the group has overseen an increase in strong, diverse leading and supporting roles within the franchise. In a recent New York Times interview, Hart said: "The characters that end up on screen are there because there is a groundswell of energy around this idea of creating a more honest reflection of the world around us.” So true. And given Star Wars' massive influence and reach, the impact of Hart's input cannot be underestimated. 

Kelly Marie Tran, John Boyega/Credit: Lucasfilm

The Woman We All Go To For Self Care

Self care is a much bandied about word. But as every day brings fresh political insanity, the only way to keep focused is to stay emotionally and physically centered. Enter wellness and lifestyle guru Latham Thomas, who has been such a positive grounding influence in my life and the lives of so many. I plan to spend the holidays thinking about how best to apply the principles of her beautiful new book, "Own Your Glow: A Soulful Guide to Luminous Living and Crowning the Queen Within", to my own life.  #MamaGlow #selfcare #wcw

And The Word Of The Year Is Feminism

Merriam Webster just announced that feminism is its word of the year. It was the most looked up term on its online dictionary, generating 70% more searches than 2016. In the year of the Women's March, Wonder Woman and the #MeToo movement, it's no surprise that interest in the word spiked. Women are speaking up and speaking out in greater numbers than ever in a quest to create equity for all.

We are still hugely marginalized across all areas of society - socially and economically - making up pitiful percentages of leadership positions, receiving less pay than our male counterparts and on the receiving end of constant harassment. Globally, we're seeing an increased use of systematic rape as a weapon of war in modern conflicts. 

The Webster dictionary defines feminism as "the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes" and as the "organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests." After a year where many of society ills and injustices against the female population were laid bare for all to see, lets hope 2018 marks the beginning of real and lasting change

Thank You To The Silence Breakers

Time's Person of the Year goes to all the courageous women who stood up and spoke out against sexual harassment in 2017.  This movement has been so cathartic for so many. Lets hope this signals the beginning of lasting change.

Why You Need To Manage Your Personal Brand

I've spent most of my career in the film business and care so passionately about the advancement of women filmmakers, so it was a thrill to be asked to host a workshop on personal branding and mission statements for the women selected to join the Sundance Institute fellowship program. 

Personal branding is the practice of people marketing themselves and their careers as brands and establishing a prescribed image or impression in the mind of others about an individual. It's how you’re perceived. Everyone has a unique personal brand, whether they know it or not. And ideally you control it - it's the image you project to the world that aligns with your mission.

The world likes to put people in boxes and project ideas onto us, so if you don't have a strong sense of self, then you're just a passive bystander in your own career.

Katie Doering, Lauren Wolkstein, Su Kim, Lana Wilson, Dee Poku, Yoruba Richen, Sabrina Gordon, Elisabeth Holm

Glamour's Women of the Year

Every year Glamour Magazine's Cindi Leive brings together the most inspiring change-makers, to shine a light on the important work they do to move the needle on key issues for women and for all marginalized communities. For her last awards as Editor in Chief of the magazine, Cindi assembled a veritable roll call of the most powerful activists, artists and advocates of our time. They included Maxine Waters, Solange, astronaut Peggy Whitson, Sarah Weddington (Roe v Wade), Ruby Bridges, Samantha Bee, Zendaya, Anita Hill, Chimamanda Adichie, Serena Williams, and the list goes on. The event reaffirmed my faith in the power of the women's movement and that women will be the ones to lead us forward to a better future. The future is female!

Cindi Leive, Dee Poku

Nicole Kidman

Solange

The Women's Convention Gave Me Life

The movement created by the Women's March organizers continues to go from strength to strength. Last weekend I spoke at their first convention in Detroit, which brought together 4000 women from across the country to discuss everything from running for office to immigration reform. I personally spoke on three panels - exploring the role of cultural influencers which featured Ibtihaj Muhammed, Piper Perabo, Yandy Smith and Jackie Cruz;  the status of women in film with Alia Shawkat, Piper Perabo, Sarah Sophie Flicker and Amber Tamblyn and and the importance of entrepreneurship with Piera Gelardi, Jennifer DaSilva, Tracy Reese and Arian Simone

Being at the convention was like being with family.  I was so inspired and moved by all the women I met and their powerful stories. From the mothers who travelled in from Flint to learn how to best to use their voices as activists, to the budding young filmmaker being sexually harassed by a supposed mentor, everyone was there to share, support and learn. A huge thank you to all the amazing speakers and participants who shared such great wisdom.

Yandy Smith, Ibtihaj Muhammad, Piper Perabo, Dee Poku, Jackie Cruz

Piper Perabo, Sarah Sophie Flicker, Dee Poku, Amber Tamblyn, Alia Shawkat

No Such Thing As A Mommy Goddess

I didn't feel like the greatest of mothers this morning. Sebastian was digging his heels in because we didn't have his favorite cereal and he wanted me to play lego. He's barely seen me over the last month so he's acting up. Meanwhile I had to ensure he was at school on time and get to a breakfast meeting so I had to half pull/carry him out the door. You need endless patience to be a good parent, and this morning I just didn't have the energy to sit and reason and explain. To find that patience you have to make time for self care. You have to be rested and nourished. And right now I'm neither. So yes, let's break the myth of the mommy goddess. Thank you Time Magazine for this story.

Battle Of The Sexes Is A Must See

I felt so energized after leaving the screening of Battle of the Sexes. The film, which stars Emma Stone and Steve Carrell tells the story of the now historic tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs. King blazed a trail in the early 1970s as an outspoken activist for equal pay.  Hearing the blatantly sexist remarks being casually bandied about and the shocking disparity in salaries reminded me of how far we've come and how much still needs to be done. Congratulations to my great friends Simon Beaufoy and Christian Colson for writing and producing Battle of the Sexes. And of course, so good to watch the movie with a great group of female change makers. 

Can Our Schools Raise Good Citizens

My son started kindergarten today. Why is the first day of school such an emotional experience? It really was for me. So much more than I was expecting. I also wonder whether in these fraught times, there's a heightened sense of anxiety about how we raise good citizens and also, the world we're sending our kids out into.  

Can we entrust our schools to teach our kids civic responsibility and the need to respect their fellow humans no matter what creed, race or sexual orientation? This requirement has risen from midway on my list of school criteria to the top 3. Our kids spend around 70% of their time at school, absorbing lessons from teachers and fellow pupils alike. If we're to change the world for the better, we have to look to how we're raising the next generation and the values we're instilling in them.

Real Is Whatever Makes You Feel Good.

I have friends who love makeup and have fun with it - they are empowered by using it. Others, like me are ambivalent. I like the way it makes me look but it just feels like work. At a recent talk, Zadie Smith shared her frustration at the amount of time her daughter spent in front of the mirror and attracted both praise and criticism for imposing limits on her grooming time. I see her point, particularly when it comes to buying into society's beauty standards. Alicia Keys has eschewed makeup because for her, it felt like she was hiding behind a mask.

For me, there's no wrong answer. Here's one area where women should be left to choose their own path. To do whatever makes them feel good. But I always catch my breath when a woman in the public eye allows us past the facade. Keys looks incredible here on the cover of Elle Brasil.

Alicia Keys. Elle Brasil  

Festivals Should Move Culture Forward

I’ve attended a number of festivals in the last year in preparation for my own upcoming female focused gathering The Other Festival. Festivals present an incredible opportunity to bring diverse groups of people together, move culture forward and facilitate dialogue. To educate and inspire. Not everyone uses that opportunity. It’s why we need Afropunk.  This weekend I saw female headliners (a rarity) such as Solange and SZA , imagery designed to provoke conversation, political fashion, and numerous social justice organizations such as Planned Parenthood and The Gathering For Justice. More of this please.

On Camera, Start By Being Your Most Authentic Self

"There's no time that I go on TV and I'm not somehow nervous. It's adrenaline. Embrace the anxiety. It's energy you can use to make your performance stronger." Media Trainer and Political Strategist, Jehmu Greene.

It was so enlightening to hear the words of wisdom from this morning's masterclass host, TV correspondent Jehmu Greene.  A black woman defending progressive values on the likes of Fox News, Greene knows better than most, the value of being on top of your game. From understanding your body language, to knowing your audience and interviewing the producer in advance, our WIE Network members learned the importance of leaving nothing to chance. The smallest detail left unchecked, can lay all your best laid plans to waste.